something happens to me when my family gets together for the holidays, and it is not pretty.
i am the family scape goat, which is much worse than being the blacksheep (although, many times the two go hand in hand). during the days spent together, all those lovely little family tensions are dumped into the pot, brought to a rolling boil, and then poured all over me, because i’m usually the straw that cripples the camel (after having all my buttons pushed).
you will then find me on the bathroom floor in the fetal position.
after much praying, crying, and (cringe) cursing, God gets me up and i trip along like a grasshopper with a broken leg, not quite dignified, back to apologize to everyone. we all make our pleasantries, and usually everything is ok for the duration of the visit.
this happens every christmas and thanksgiving, no matter how prepared i think i am. my family- the loves of my life are also the thorns in my flesh, put on earth to remind me that i need God’s grace all the freaking time.
i can’t tell you how awesome it will be when we are in the total presence of God and will never fight again.
but for now, i raise my glass of murky humility, and toast the Grace that absorbs all the shit in my life, like baking soda on vomit.
Thank you, Jesus.